labtastic

FYI jon – use the ‘labhumour@labtastic.org’ address, not the
bakedchefs one…
Begin forwarded message:
> From: Knowles Jonathan
> Date: 19 November 2008 10:17:20 GMT
> To: labhumour@bakedchefs.com
> Subject: :: Australian High School metaphors
>
>
> 0. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two
> sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
>
> 1. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience,
> like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse
> without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around
> the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at
> a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
>
> 2. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
> room-temperature prime English beef.
>
> 3. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a
> dog makes just before it throws up.
>
> 4. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
>
> 5. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
>
> 6. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had
> disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock,
> like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
>
> 7. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the
> way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
>
> 8. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty
> bag filled with vegetable soup.
>
> 9. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had
> an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another
> city and “Sex in the City” comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
>
> 10. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a
> sneeze.
>
> 11. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots
> when you fry them in hot oil.
>
> 12. John and Mary had never met. They were like two
> hummingbirds who had also never met.
>
> 13. Even in his last years, Grandad had a mind like a steel
> trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
>
> 14. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But
> unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
>
> 15. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from
> not eating for a while.
>
> 16. “Oh, Jason, take me!”; she panted, her breasts heaving like
> a Uni student on $1-a-beer night.
>
> 17. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck,
> either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping
> on a land mine or something.
>
> 18. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one
> slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
>
> 19. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard
> bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
>
> 20. She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword
>
> 21. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing
> legs
>
> 22. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally
> staple it to the wall.
>
>
>
> —————————————————————————-
> Blogger + Web Monkey + Crank
> cell: 44 (0) 781 8483219
> www.jonknowles.com
> www.flickr.com/photos/sheriffof0
>
> —————————————————————————-
>
>
>
>

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Bumper sticker computing

Filed under: General — richard @ 3:50 pm

I bought the book this was taken from years ago:
www.geocities.com/krishna_kunchith/misc/bscs.html
And always rather liked this one. Having just discovered a typo in a
script that was causing somebody some problems, it came back to my
mind:
Of all my programming bugs, 80% are syntax errors. Of the remaining
20%, 80% are trivial logical errors. Of the remaining 4%, 80% are
pointer errors. And the remaining 0.8% are hard.
Marc Donner
IBM Watson Research Center

r.

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